FICTION

Circus Daze

by Carol Ruth (49-H-2)

It was bright, that morning in June, but I was very unhappy. I wanted to go to the circus, and Dad had issued one of his ultimatums about the yard work. Either it would be done completely, or I would go nowhere. It made no difference to him that I was 18, and graduated that year with the top twenty in my class. He was still angry with me for---But maybe I should go back a few years and explain the reason for his anger.

When I was born, Mother wanted a girl because she already had three boys. As a result, I was born into a world of pink ruffles and ribbon. Everything she had bought for the new baby was for a beautiful little girl, so rather than let it go to waste, she dressed me in all the pink dresses, satin booties, and lacy bonnetts. Dad resented this, and she re- sented Dad, and the resentment grew through the years as she continued to let my hair grow, and kept me as a baby girl. I wasn't put into real boy's cloth- ing until I was ready to go to school. Then, after I came home from school, back into the baby bloomers and dresses so Mom could have her little girl. Of course the time soon came when she was forced to give up her fantasy, because the criticism from the neighbors was added to that of Dads. The transition went smoothly enough, or so everyone thought, until I was caught "borrowing" some of Mom's scanties. It was one evening when I thought no-one would be home, and just as I had finished getting all prettied up in a blue satin dress with white slip and pink bloomers under it, everyone walked in the front door. You never heard such shouting!! Naturally I was severely strapped by Dad, and tongue-lashed by Mom, but that only seemed to strengthen my desire to wear lovely silky things. I was caught several times in

43